Friday, April 30, 2010

First Diarrhea Experience...

Not a very delicious topic I'm afraid but since yesterday Ela's having her first diarrhea experience and related to that a terrible rash with cracks (and therefore burning I guess since she cries everytime I change her nappy). It might be a sign for teething since there's no vomiting, fever or bad temper. And today the frequency and consistency of her stools were slightly better but I can't say the same about the rash...it's still red, red, red. I called her doc and he told me to apply Trosyd and Betnovate during every nappy change but that didn't seem to help much so I continued to use the goold old Desitin.
Ela is sleeping now and her newest habit is to sleep on her tummy. I guess it's not risky anymore so I don't try to change that habit of hers. After all, I also prefer to sleep on my tummy and hated to sleep on my back while being pregnant.


I also want to quickly write about a hot discussion between some mommies on Nurturia that's been going on since Monday. One of the moms opened a topic with a heading that was something like "What do Tracy and Ferber know anyway?" and she basically tried to say that she thought natural/attachment parenting was healthier and better for babies compared to Tracy's and Ferber's methods. She also wrote that she supported the idea of a Turkish expert who said kids shouldn't be left crying at all till the age of three in order for them to develop self-confidence and self -esteem.
The discussion got more and more aggressive and after 18 pages some of the moms were almost mad at each other and in the end the topic owner closed her account and left the website.
I believe that discussions are good but I also believe that we in Turkey are not very good at leading them in a proper and healthy way. There's too much judgment included and in this case I think the heading itself was the provoker...openly judging everybody who applied or tried to apply Tracy Hogg's and Ferber's methods and saying they were doing a bad job.
I wrote about this before and therefore don't want to repeat myself but I really really wish everybody would become less judgmental and more respectful towards each other!
And one little comment about the crying part; my experience actually shows the opposite, I spent 12 years in German schools and then 6 years in Turkey as a student and another 9 years as an educational consultant going in and out of almost every private school in Turkey (and some Middle Eastern Countries) and I can easily say that concerning self-confidence and self-esteem our kids here, who are mostly raised "naturally", are far far behind in terms of these qualities compared to German kids who are obviously raised with much more discipline and various structured methods and are certainly left crying from time to time (or quite often actually...:))

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Happy Happy Birthday






What a lovely day it was...Isla's and my birthday gathering...wonderful food, wonderful weather, wonderful friends, wonderful cake, wonderful gifts ;))
It was my first birthday celebration in 8 years...I didn't even have a party for my 30th...but I'm so glad I accepted Isla's kind offer to have a joint celebration!
Normally I'm not a big fan of special days I have to say...birthdays, anniversaries, Bayrams, Valentine's day, New Year don't really excite me very much...I'm quite boring I guess in these matters. But I think the fact that special days kind of create certain expectations and some sort of pressure usually causes the person to be over-sensitive and almost dissapointed in the end.
Anyways, this time I wasn't dissapointed at all and had a lot of fun!

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Ela's a computer freak ;)











First Nurturia meeting in Izmir




Yesterday we met with some members of the (relatively) new mommies website www.nurturia.com.tr at Kulturpark...Nurturia is kind of a Facebook/Twitter combination for mommies where you can ask questions, share ideas & info, publish your little one's pics, tweet what you're currently doing, feeling or thinking, etc.
The meeting was nice but like all meetings with little kids it was a bit tiring and also very hard to have a conversation and actually get to know the other mommies. But maybe this is also not too bad for a first meeting where you usually don't know what to talk about anyway and keep asking the same questions to everybody. I'm sure the next meeting which is planned for 19th May will be much warmer and better.
Ela was the smallest among the kids, most of them were around 1.5- 2 years of age and the oldest one was nearly 4 years old. I'm actually looking forward to when Ela will be able to play and run around with other kids but I also started to think about discipline...how to react when she starts to have tantrums, what to say and more importantly what not to say. For example, are time-outs a good tool? And how should I apply them? I know that they don't work with every kid...but I think I want to give it a try...I have to read more to figure out what kind of methods I can use concerning this matter but I know that I don't want to just go with the flow and raise Ela without setting any rules or giving her the chance to learn how to cope with negative emotions like fear, anger, frustration and so on..we chatted about this with a friend last week and she said studies show that children who learn how to deal with difficult situations when they're small (and are taken away from the situation) also tend to be better in dealing with difficult situations when they're grown-ups..
Anyways, I still have some time and should probably enjoy Ela's (yet) tantrum-free times!
Today is a quiet day..Ela's sleeping and I might rest a bit too since we woke up quite early this morning (6.15am).

Friday, April 23, 2010

Montalk: Life is...

"Life is also like a role-playing computer game you (as the higher self) help design and then experience. The general plot of the game is decided beforehand, but how it actually turns out depends on how well you play and the choices you make. What is the point of this game? It is to experience and better understand yourself, others, and reality. Anything you go through in life that affects you for better or for worse is there to serve that purpose. These experiences are there to help you become smarter and wiser. They contain learning lessons and are arranged for you by the game designer; the higher self who designed and can still make changes to the game as you play it.

To give you a better idea of what kind of lessons I'm talking about, here are some ideas: you learn what you are really capable of doing by overcoming your fears; you learn the wisdom of how to handle complex situations for the best of everyone involved; you learn how others feel when you hurt them through selfish choices; you learn how to distinguish what is good and true from dark and false; you learn how following the dark parts of you brings pain and misfortune but following what is good in you brings peace and happiness; you learn what really has meaning and value and what are illusions that do not make your soul happy; you learn about what love really means; and you learn how reality works and how there are so many limitations you can break through if you understand them and give it your best shot.

You, the lower self, do not decide what lessons you need, but you do decide the timing and style of experience necessary for you to learn a particular lesson. For instance, if you have an open mind and love to learn, the experience might be an easy and exciting one because that is all you need to get the point. But if you are stubborn and stuck in your thinking, the experience might be harsher so that the lesson gets through to you. If an experience does not deliver its message to you successfully, it will repeat under a similar but different circumstance so that you get another chance. But the more you ignore it, the more painful the next repetitive experience becomes. So the key to having an easier and more exciting life is to pay attention to what your experiences can teach you, and then use what you learn to make better choices in the future. These lessons simply make you understand what you did not see before, thereby changing your approach to life for the better. But if the same bad episode keeps happening then there is something you're not getting, or if you get it, something you're not putting into practice. It's not always easy figuring out what that might be, but ask your higher self for understanding and maybe the answer will come to you within a few days as a realization, or ask someone wiser than you for some suggestions. "

(Montalk, from the "free" pdf, Fringe Knowledge for Beginners) - www.montalk. net

Monday, April 19, 2010

When exactly does Ego step in?


I think it was at the third playgroup gathering when Ela experienced the first violation of her rights when another baby grabbed her toy out of her hands...she learned very quickly and did the same to another baby after 2 min. Was that the first time her ego stepped in? Are babies actually born with an ego and start to develop it as soon as they start socializing? Or do they learn everything after they're born?
Whenever I watch Ela playing I'm mesmerized by her purity...she doesn't care how she looks like, or what she's wearing, or what other people think of her, how she has to behave, how she has to act, etc. She just wants to eat, drink, sleep, pee, poop, taken care of and basically have fun.
Like all other babies.
So when exactly do these little angels lose their "purity"? Do we teach them to listen to their egos? Or is there a way to prevent their ego to develop?
After all, many "aware" people try to get rid of their ego later in life....but wouldn't it be easier if it wasn't developed in the first place? Is that even possible?

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Beautiful Spring Day




It was such a nice day in Izmir today...not as hot as yesterday

but still sunny and warm...I had a good start with a 2km run in the morning at Kordon...it feels soo good afterwards (not necessarily while doing it:)) ...I definitely want to continue running at least once a week..and gradually increase the length. Doing s.th. for my body feels good!

Ela started to stand up today, but again the mobile phone was her motivator...I wonder if she's ever gonna start doing s.th. without a phone?!?!? I put the phone on the sofa and she's so eager to get the phone that she manages to stand up from a sitting position (holding the sofa of course) and lean forward till she gets it...she's also trying to climb up but her legs are of course too short to do that.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Muffin recipe missing ingr.!

I forgot to add 3 egg yolks to the ingredients of the recipe below!

Long long day = bad bad sleep

As expected Ela found it harder than usual to fall asleep last night and also woke up at 00.30, 01.30, 01.50, 02.30 (at this point I nursed her), 05.00 (again fed her) and then finally at 07.00. Of course she was overstimulated and very tired from this busy day...even I was kind of groggy and actually am still feeling a bit tired. That's why I wasn't too strict and nursed her 2 times during the night which I'm normally not doing anymore. In the end, it was my fault that she was so tired :o
Here's s.th. I came across which might explain the strange energy yesterday;

"..The new moon last night was a potent (and really painful) blast of energy that is literally pushing us on our new path. This energy can be felt in every cell of our bodies and is restructuring our daily lives on fundamental levels, helping us to create new balanced systems for living...both personally and collectively.
From now until July we will have the opportunity and support to continue tying up our loose ends, finish up our healing, resolve any unresolved personal issues and while simultaneously launching the first phase of our new-level lives and creations. " (Lauren C. Gorgo)


Currently, Ela is sleeping and when she wakes up we will go for a short walk and that's it for today...I'm planning to bake some cheese-muffins for Ela today, I found the recipe on a website for Turkish moms...these muffins have become the favorite food of the whole family since I first baked them last week.
Here's the recipe in case you want to try;
1/2 cup yoghurt
1/2 cup olive or vegetable oil
1 cup goat's cheese
1 bunch fresh parsley (chop the leaves)
2 cups regular flour
1 pack. baking powder
*mix all ingr. and place in muffin cases, bake at 160-170 degrees for 20 min., or till crust is brown


Thursday, April 15, 2010

Busy Long Day!

Meine Guete..we really had a very long day today! Starting with our 9.30 ferry trip to this week's playgroup in Bostanli which was not too busy (not like the one at my place last week with 12 moms and 13 kids(!)...I couldn't even write about it :o)...it was just about the right size...then we took the 12.30 ferry back to Alsancak...had lunch and coffee at our usual place (Gloria Jean's) where another friend joined us until 3pm...then some walking & chatting for another hour or so...at 4pm Ela fell asleep and I normally would have gone home...but there was a strange energy today...not sure what it was, should probably check out some spiritual sites..but I couldn't go home...something kept me outside...so I walked to the park close to the harbor and meanwhile Ela was awake again and started to watch the kids in the park playing...I also had to change her nappy at this point in her pram...then we walked to Alper's office and waited for Papi to join us...but we still weren't able to go home, on our way we stopped at Tansas, Joker, another Tansas and a pharmacy...it was almost 7 when I finally got home. We had a quick family dinner and then it was bath-nursing-sleeping time.
Now it's 10.20pm...Alper is playing Poker with a friend...I'm in front of the computer...very tired but happy :p

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

What kind of family?

Today I read a nicely written post in a blog of a Turkish mom(http://ozguranne.blogspot.com/2010/04/cocuklar-yetistirirken-kendimizi.html ) ...it made me think about what kind of family I want us to be...or let's put it this way..should I really think about what kind of family I want us to be? Do I actually have to think about everything? All these thoughts about what's good for Ela, what's the best approach, which one's the best food, how I should do this and that,etc etc...
Like this mom says in her post families tend to think of themselves as the perfect family..always trying to be the first and best ones with everything..buying the newest and best things, sending their kids to the best schools, considering themselves superior to other families...
I don't know exactly what kind of family we are now but I know for sure that I don't want us to be anything like that.
In addition, I sometimes feel overwhelmed with all the information about babycare...and I decided to let it go a bit...reading less, asking less, wondering less...
Certainly not caring less...just less worried.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Teething Queen

Two days ago two lower teeth popped out, this morning one upper one made its way out ;)
This means Ela has 9 teeth altogether now (number 10 is probably also on its way). Everybody says she's teething quite fast but I read that by the age of one they averagely have 12 teeth so it looks like she's more or less "normal."

Teething hasn't been too big a problem (which I'm quite grateful for)...some came with a runny nose and constipation but this time she only woke up at night once or twice and wanted to be comforted...

Speaking about sleeping I think she's gonna be one wild sleeper! Somehow she manages to turn horizontal in her cot and bangs her head against the bars (which causes her to wake up of course...and cry...)...and also when she's awake she has this rebellious attitude sometimes...esp. when we're out she's shrieking and yelling at the top of her voice (out of joy) and a few days ago a woman said "you're a wild girl!" while passing...

BTW, here are some different styles of Ela baby sleeping:







Saturday, April 10, 2010

What's new with us...




Apart from Ela's proper crawling skills quite a few things have changed in the last couple of days;she has 2 new teeth (lower) which caused her to wake up at night...but I'm eagerly trying to "teach" her to sleep through again...btw, I stopped dream feeding her yesterday...and nothing really changed...but I replaced the dream feed with an extra feed (short) at daytime.
When I play music Ela is kind of dancing; kind of shaking her belly to the rhythm which looks really funny..I couldn't record it yet but it's one of my major goals these days ;)
She's eating almost everything now incl. red meat, fish, chicken, turkey, most veggies and fruits and not only pureed but with some tiny little soft pieces of more solid food.
In general, she's more aware of things, more conscious I guess...and she can play longer on her own which is nice!
What's not so nice is that she started to hate nappy changes and tries to escape before I can put on a new one..this is really annoying and actually caused me to consider applying "The Diaper-Free Baby" approach. I started to put her on the potty in the mornings...of course only for a very short time since she absolutely has no idea what she's doing on this strange thing.
What's new with me? Well, the best thing I can think of is the fact that I started running once a week at the fair. Elif motivated me and once we ran together and last Wed I ran alone...I haven't felt better in a very long time...actually, it's funny that now that I have less time I try to create more time for the things I always wanted to do. I guess this is the rule, when you can do s.th. it's less appealing than when you can't do it.
This also caused me to think about myself as an individual...as Janset...the woman who likes to be alone sometimes...without being tied to anybody..which is not possible when you're a mother...not that I'm complaining (yet)...but I'm looking forward to having more freedom soon to be honest..that's one of the reasons why I'm not planning to have another baby.
Anyways, now I have to feed Ela and myself..then it's bath & sleeping time :))))