Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Here's the dialogue that took place between me and his aunt at lunchtime:
Alper's Aunt (AA): Take some 'borek' honey...
Me: Thank you so much but I actually don't like borek very much.
AA: Ahhh, but I made it specially for you and Alper, you have to try..
Me: That's so nice of you but I'd rather not eat, thank you...
AA: Please take just a little piece!
Me: No, thank you.
AA: (cutting a small piece and trying to stuff it into my mouth)..you know one should it just to make the other person happy (I couldn't actually translate this part properly because it's a typical Turkish saying which probably can't be translated into any other language: Hatirim icin Ye!...)
Me: Please, don't insist...I really don't wanna eat...(whereas deep inside I said s.th. like STOP IT!!! I HATE YOUR BOREK!!! WHY DON'T YOU GET IT OLD LADY????????)
Another very annoying thing is that they keep telling you you will catch a cold or get stomach ache because you walk barefoot. It's sooooo tiring to explain that this is nonsense!!!
This is AA with Ela:
My limits of patience were truly pushed and it was really hard to "be cautious in my demeanor, and take extra efforts to maintain the integrity of my auric field" like Metatron recommends in his latest channeling.
The lunar eclipse on Saturday was very powerful and incl. me many people felt it very intensively. Now we're approaching a solar eclipse on 11th July and the 5 Planet Alignment (The Grand Cross) which hasn't happened for a very long time. These astrological occurrences are giving us a hard time and whatever it is that we have to 'clean, release, forgive, face, heal, let go' in our lives, this is the right time to do that.
I have to think about today and find out what it is that I need to learn or understand from Ela's behavior and its effects on me. I found it hard to stay calm so it must be a big one! Maybe related to my childhood...I don't know.
I've been thinking about my father lately...for a very long time he was my big love and I adored him sooo much until I was old enough to realize that he's just a human being like all of us and actually has many...many...many not so nice qualities. In 2006 right before I got married we had a huge fight which changed our relationship forever...something broke between us...I guess I finally cut the cord.
And since then it was hard for me to feel the fatherly love in my life...we were distant from each other, mutually unreachable.
Until the day I saw him with Ela. This little girl has managed to bring love and light back to my dad's life.Now he is like I remember him from my childhood; gentle, loving, caring, attentive, patient, warm, supportive...
Maybe not directly towards me but that doesn't matter...seeing him like this is making me happy. Because he found happiness again in his life. Something worth living for rather than being buried in dramas and diseases and complaints.
Right now I have the feeling that today has s.th. to do with my mom and how she reacted to me as a toddler...probably still some forgiving and letting go to be done.
Wishing everybody gentle and tension-free days...
Monday, June 28, 2010
What's new with little Ela?
- She started to (try to) repeat words like bye-bye and Alper (Aabeer)
- She's more and more interested in her dad...showing him special attention and being very happy to have him around
- She's not walking yet, I ordered this to motivate her..hope she likes it :)
- We went to the pool and the sea for the first time...she felt more comfortable in the pool but the sea was actually very wavy and she was scared by the noise. This week we will start going to Ceshme where the sea is quite calm so I hope she'll enjoy it since I would prefer not to use the pool at all. The place we're staying is a big complex with lots of people and I also don't know if the pool is cleaned well enough.
- Breastfeeding only in the mornings after wake-up and before bedtime
- Started to give milk at breakfast with cereals. No allergy detected so far
- Stopped preparing special meals for her...she's eating everything now. Favorites are meatballs, fishfingers, green lentils, fruits like bananas, cherries, pears, apples and her absolute favorite is breakfast cereals
- Tasted ice cream for the first time (McDonald's creamy ice cream) and lovvveddd it!
- She tries to sing saying 'mmmmm' with songs she likes :))))
Friday, June 25, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Saturday, June 19, 2010
But I'm kind of ready to travel again. And since I have a cute travel buddy now (Alper hates traveling, esp. flying makes him sick and his interest in exploring new places is not too big) I started to dream about certain spots we could visit in the next few years. I want to wait till Ela is slightly older (2-2.5) so that flying and traveling gets a bit easier.
Here's my wishlist;
1) Christmas 2011 Germany (Frankfurt)
2) Fall 2012 USA (New York)
3) Christmas 2012 Germany and maybe France (Strasbourg)
4) Fall 2013 Italy
5) Christmas 2013 Germany
6) Fall 2014 UK (London)
7) Christmas 2014 Germany
and of course every 2-3 months: ISTANBUL
Friday, June 18, 2010
I must say that it's less stressful than I had expected...maybe because I had prepared myself quite well in advance, psychologically I mean. And I prefer to put on training pants or underwear since I can't always see esp. when she pees and then she ends up being wet all over.
When she's naked though she just acts like she has a nappy on and doesn't mind any kind of pee or poop coming out :))
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Now the main problem I think was the tone of the article which was unnecessarily aggressive and rude. But I'm not sure if I agree with most of the moms who bombarded her with criticism and judged her to be mean and degrading. I think trying to turn this into a snobbish/rich/cruel/mean woman against poor/hard-working/over-sensitive/working-class girl is a bit exaggerated.
This reminded me of a similar incident that happened when I was working for Pearson...some colleagues dissapeared for a few hours during a big conference to do some shopping or sightseeing or something I can't remember now and maybe they were not fired because of that but they certainly got into big trouble. And I really don't think you can actually take belly-dancing lessons during working hours no matter what your profession is. Maybe if you're the CEO of the company. Maybe then.
In fact, I believe that being a nanny requires even more professionalism than any other job because here we're talking about a baby or a little child. It's just hard I guess because their working environment is the private place of a family, a less 'serious' environment that is...and from what I can see nannies and also cleaning ladies in Turkey after a while tend to think they're part of the family or a friend and start to behave accordingly and that's causing the problem.
Maybe the problem is that here you actually don't have to be rich to have a helper or nanny...in fact, many women spend a big amount of their salaries on nannies and helpers since they can't risk it to lose track or they simply want to work and don't want to have to think about what to do when their children get older. But I guess this makes it easier for the nannies to identify themselves with their 'bosses.' They are not that different after all...many also struggling and trying to 'just do fine'. I'm sure richer people have less problems with their workers since the gap is big enough to prevent such an identification.
Anyways, this is all far from being a problem for me since I don't have a nanny and also no frequent cleaning lady (because I can do most of the work myself and also because I just can't stand it to have somebody around in the apartment!).
Monday, June 14, 2010
Anyways, this was before Ela.
Now everything's different...not that motherhood automatically brings some angelic features or something...but what makes the difference is that now I have something in common with them...and that something is Ela.
I still don't have to lead any direct conversations with them but because they are only focused on her I don't have to talk anyway. And I feel that I'm not disturbed anymore by their louder talking..or their interesting interests...or their totally different approach to life in general.
I feel lighter now. Less vulnerable. More tolerant and patient.
Friday, June 11, 2010
I removed the carpet in Ela's room and we started to practice naked on the first day. I will also try the training pants sometimes.
My primary goal is to teach Ela awareness about her bowel movements since she hasn't cried even once after having pooped since she's born. These new nappies are so good (!) that babies really don't feel any pee or poop for a very long time. I will never push her to "learn" to use the toilet or potty and in the beginning I will only do it one hour in the mornings and one hour in the evenings when she usually does her poop. I know there're many views against this early intro of "potty education" but when I read the book I really liked the idea and had the feeling that this might be the right aproach for us (both).
I'm very relaxed and don't have any certain date in mind when I would like Ela to 'graduate' from this education. If she raises her awareness and starts to tell me before she does s.th. it would be nice to properly train her next summer (it's so much easier in summer) since I want to start traveling with her when she's 2.5 and it would be very practical if she's already potty trained.
This whole training thing is gonna teach me s.th., too, of course...
I will learn to be more flexible (dealing with cleaning pee and poop :)))
I will learn to be patient (I was never patient with myself when learning s.th.)
I will learn to be a better observer (looking for specific signs)
First day result:
1 poop and pee being caught
1 poop and pee being missed
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Here're some pix from last Sun when we visited my brother-in-law and his family in their new summer house in Ceshme. Ela had such a great time...she really loves to be around smaller kids.