Tuesday, June 29, 2010

What a challenging day!

Today I had the most difficult day with Ela since she was born...esp. after her morning nap, which probably wasn't long enough, she managed to give me a headache (very unusual for me) with her fussy, cranky, touchy, God-who-knows-what-like behavior. Is it because she's a toddler now??? So soon??? At the moment she's sleeping again..that is she's trying to sleep, woke up several times crying as if she was in pain or something.
My limits of patience were truly pushed and it was really hard to "be cautious in my demeanor, and take extra efforts to maintain the integrity of my auric field" like Metatron recommends in his latest channeling.
The lunar eclipse on Saturday was very powerful and incl. me many people felt it very intensively. Now we're approaching a solar eclipse on 11th July and the 5 Planet Alignment (The Grand Cross) which hasn't happened for a very long time. These astrological occurrences are giving us a hard time and whatever it is that we have to 'clean, release, forgive, face, heal, let go' in our lives, this is the right time to do that.
I have to think about today and find out what it is that I need to learn or understand from Ela's behavior and its effects on me. I found it hard to stay calm so it must be a big one! Maybe related to my childhood...I don't know.
I've been thinking about my father lately...for a very long time he was my big love and I adored him sooo much until I was old enough to realize that he's just a human being like all of us and actually has many...many...many not so nice qualities. In 2006 right before I got married we had a huge fight which changed our relationship forever...something broke between us...I guess I finally cut the cord.
And since then it was hard for me to feel the fatherly love in my life...we were distant from each other, mutually unreachable.
Until the day I saw him with Ela. This little girl has managed to bring love and light back to my dad's life.Now he is like I remember him from my childhood; gentle, loving, caring, attentive, patient, warm, supportive...
Maybe not directly towards me but that doesn't matter...seeing him like this is making me happy. Because he found happiness again in his life. Something worth living for rather than being buried in dramas and diseases and complaints.
Right now I have the feeling that today has s.th. to do with my mom and how she reacted to me as a toddler...probably still some forgiving and letting go to be done.

Wishing everybody gentle and tension-free days...

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