Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Today I also want to write about the book I mentioned earlier 'The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time' by Mark Haddon.
The book is about a boy named Cristopher (15) who has Asperger's Syndrome. Christopher is the narrator of his own murder mystery novel and I think the Guardian review is so right; it's "a funny as well as a sad book..."
While reading, I realized that I was quite ignorant about this "syndrome." I knew a few things about autism, because there're many foundations (even in Turkey) that try to raise awareness and help & support these kids but seeing the world through the eyes of somebody actually having this "syndrome" was interesting, shocking, informative, educating and thought-provoking.
Christopher hates the colors yellow and brown and avoids them as much as he can (doesn't wear anything yellow/brown, doesn't eat anything, doesn't want to look at anything, etc). He hates lies and thinks even metaphors are not telling the truth, and, therefore, logically, are lies. He doesn't like crowds, busy places and people touching him. He's very good in maths, though. And also physics (he's the only boy at his school for "special needs" who gets an A grade at A-level Maths). That makes one think if this syndrome is actually a right brain/left brain kind of problem (because he also lacks social and emotional skills). ???
Here're some excerpts from the book:
"...it rained very hard. I like it when it rains hard. It sounds like white noise everywhere, which is like silence but not empty."
"And I like timetables because I like to know when everything is going to happen....
And at the weekend I make up my own timetable and write it down on a piece of cardboard and I put it up on the wall. And it says things like Feed Toby, or Do maths or Go to the shop to buy sweets. And that is one of the reasons why I don't like France because when people are on holiday they don't have a timetable and I had to get Mother and Father to tell me every morning exactly what we were going to do that day to make me feel better."
"And people who believe in God think God has put human beings on the earth because they think human beings are the best animal, but human beings are just an animal and they will evolve into another animal, and that animal will be cleverer and it will put human beings into a zoo, like we put chimpanzees and gorillas into a zoo. Or human beings will catch a disease and die out or they will make too much pollution and kill themselves, and then there will only be insects in the world and they will be the best animals."
"People say that Orion is called Orion because Orion was a hunter and the constellation looks like a hunter with a club and a bow and arrow, like this (image of Orion here). But this is really silly because it is just stars, and you could join up the dots in any way you wanted, and you could make it look like a lady with an umbrella who is waving, or the coffee maker which Mrs Shears has, which is from Italy, with a handle and steam coming out, or like a dinosaur (image of the dots joined up to be a dinosaur). And there aren't any lines in space, so you could join bits of Orion to bits of Lepus or Taurus or Gemini and say that they were a constellation called The Brunch of Grapes or Jesus or The Bicycle (except that they didn't have bicycles in Roman and Greek times which was when they called Orion Orion). And anyway, Orion is not a hunter or a coffee maker or a dinosaur. It is just Betelgeuse and Bellatrix and Alnilam and Rigel and 17 other stars I don't know the names of. And they are nuclear explosions billions of miles away. And that is the truth."
It might sound ridiulous but when I finished the book I had this strange thought that I might have a very "light" version of this Asperger's Syndrome.
Because 1) I also hate the colors yellow & brown (not that I can't touch anything that color...or wear...but they're my least favorite ones...only brown clothes are ok). 2) I hate crowded, busy places and also people not respecting my personal space and touching me by accident. 3) I was not necessarily brilliant at maths but usually the best in the class. 4) I was not very communicative as a child and wanted to be left alone most of the time. 5) I need my timetables. Otherwise, I feel lost. And I have to admit that this is why I sometimes can't enjoy holidays as much as I would like to. I know that this sounds funny but the degree of how much I related to the boy while reading was much higher than my usual degree of empathy while reading any other book before. Maybe we all carry some of these features in one way or another???
Here's one for instance.
What I loved most, though, was the pureness...the naiveness...the directness...and the simplicity.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Will go to bed soon. Maybe I read another few pages of 'The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time.' More about this book, which btw is a good read, in my next post.
Friday, August 27, 2010
|Wearing mommy's hair band...ready to sleep|
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
According to the Arcturian collective, scalar energy is a neutrally participating energy wave which alters the state of electromagnetic particles through the properties of resonance, or harmonics. (Scientifically speaking, scalar energy is more field-like than wave-like... and tho it has always existed, it's only recently that scientists have discovered and begun to make use of it. )
The unseens also say that these scalar technologies are the result of the zero-point frequency field which is now available and anchored (by way-showers everywhere) into the activated 5th dimensional information grid system surrounding our planet and that these new scalar wave technologies are only the very beginning of the technological boom about to birth on earth."
To read the whole article pls click here.
In the Land of the Obvious, Looking for a Clue
August 25, 2010
We're feeling like we're in the land of the obvious and looking for a clue. Just when we are sure that we finally know what we are doing we find out that everything has changed. After months or years of working on ourselves, do we feel any differently than before? Maybe we don't because it has taken us such a long time to get here that we have completely forgotten the person we used to be, and maybe that is a good thing. I, for one, am glad to be beyond the fear, doubt, confusion and uncertainty that I used to have.
What will life be like with my newly learned confidence? As soon as I get back into the world, I will let you know. Like many others, I have also been keep out of circulation for the past few years and I know it was for a good reason but I'm tired of being by myself all of the time. I want to move to the biggest, most congested place I can find and then relish the noise, traffic and busy-ness.
But first let's talk about the obvious because despite our best efforts, life just does not feel obvious right now. What are we doing now and where will it lead us? How can we feel so secure one day and mired in doubt and confusion the next? Why does it seem that just as we are sure of the next step, everything changes in the next moment? We are experiencing dramatic shifts in consciousness and seeing immediate results in our thinking and life experience from the clearing work we are doing now. And we're getting immediate confirmation. Let me share my experience of this week.
First, a little history. I have worn contact lenses for almost thirty years. Every night I take my contact lenses out, put them in a case with saline solution and put the case on the side of my bathroom sink. I do this the same way, every day. So on Sunday night I took my contact lenses out and put the case on the side of the sink. Then I went to bed. Monday morning I got up, went into the bathroom to put my lenses on. But they were not on the sink where I had left them the night before. The case was gone and although I looked everywhere, I could not find it. So I got a new pair of lenses and bought a new case to replace the old one.
Now over the weekend I did a lot of clearing work, on very deep karmic levels. On Friday I went to bed and asked the Council I work with to show me exactly what I needed to work on, the specific past life energy I was clearing, who I was dealing with and to let me know when I was finished so I could look at my life in a different way.
After spending the weekend clearing, I had to get new contact lenses and a new case on Monday morning. The Universe does have a strange sense of humor.
When I was trying to figure out what happened to my contact lenses, I replayed my motions in my head but could only get as far as putting the case on the side of the sink. Is that what happened or am I so wired to remember that process in this way that I can't remember it any other way? Are my memories so obvious that they blind me to the reality of what really happened during my contact lens ritual?
As we are clearing our karma and its energies, we are also learning to see ourselves, our life, others, our potential and the world in different ways. But our memories are so hard wired that every aspect of our life is an illusion which they create. We are afraid to know that there is no fixed reality, as everything simply unfolds from our thoughts. There is no lack or abundance, no joy or pain, no fear or love, except that which we allow ourselves to experience. And if our hard wired memories do not include allowances for joy, abundance and love, then we cannot know them.
That why when we beg the Universe to fix our life it doesn't respond. Our hard wired memories are creating our reality, not the Universe. It's only responding to the reality memories we are replaying for the millionth time.
We can use affirmations, positive thinking, attend countless classes and seminars and work very hard at changing our reality. But until we can go beyond the habits of our memories, we will continue to create the only reality that they allow us to.
I can see myself putting the lens case on the side of the sink but is that what really happened? While it is what I remember but is that what I did in that moment or is my memory of my nightly contact lens ritual so ingrained that while I saw myself doing it, I was really doing something else instead, something that is so out of alignment with my usual routine that my mind could not register it as a memory? Hmmm, I need to think about that.
This gives us food for thought-is life as we are really living it or is it just imagined? How much of our unfolding reality is based on the truth of the present moment and how much is imagined from habit? What role do our memories, in this lifetime and from all of our lifetimes, play in the life we have today? If we were to release them all right now, what kind of life would we be living?
When we ask the Universe for a new vision, a new way of seeing ourselves and the world, are we prepared to let go of all those memories and learn to let life unfold in this moment? We'll certainly have to be present in each moment so we remember where we put things! And by the way, I still have not found my contact lens case...
As you ponder this and the other things that are happening at this time (and Mercury is retrograde, which is a great time for reconsideration), remember to:
Accept all gifts of understanding with gratitude and use them to apply forgiveness, release and healing to every situation.
Ask for guidance and confirmation and then wait for it to come to you.
Above all, be grateful for this opportunity to be part of humanity's amazing shift in consciousness as we all ascend into the miracle vibration.
Many blessings in these miraculous and amazing times,
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
I always loved the moon, esp. when full.
Yesterday I wrote about the things I've been missing and today I want to cheer myself up and remember all the places I've been to already. That might relieve me a bit and give me some patience till we can finally enjoy traveling with Ela.
|Beirut...almost my 2nd home for a while and absolute favorite after NYC|
|Budapest...lovely, lovely, lovely|
|Dubai...least favorite by far; fake, unnatural, too hot, too much traffic, shallow...shallow...shallow|
|Munich...favorite city in Germany, haven't been to Berlin, though, so might change my mind.|
|Nice...beautiful small city which looks like a film set, felt like will bump into Grace Kelly any second ;)|
|Paris...stayed too short, Disneyland was nice but want to see more of Paris, put on have-to-go-back list|
|Prague...fell in love with this beauty, beautiful when covered with snow..even more beautiful in spring.|
|Barcelona...absolute favorite in Europe, nice people, fab atmosphere, great shopping, lively rhthym|
|New Orleans...went two months before Katrina so remember it as a very authentic, slightly dirty, very inspiring city with the best Jazz Bars ever|
|New York...still dreaming of living there for a while, my number two after Istanbul|
Monday, August 23, 2010
Reading a book I like and don't want to put down for hours and hours w/o interruption - watching whole seasons of TV shows I like at weekends - of course, going to the cinema - going on shopping tours or just window shopping for hours - attending seminars, conferences, courses that interest me - having long, uninterrupted conversations with friends - sleeping through the night for 8 hours w/o waking up - spending the day at the hairdresser/beauty salon - lounging on a sun chair for hours at the beach - being lazy and not doing anything the whole day.
Hmmm..I'd have thought the list would be longer. Not too bad, after all.
|very confident now when standing & walking with support...sometimes standing w/o support for seconds (until she's aware)|
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Here're some random shots:
Friday, August 20, 2010
And Sunday always comes too late
But Friday, never hesitate...
I don't care if Monday's black
Tuesday, Wednesday - heart attack
Thursday, never looking back
It's Friday, I'm in love!!!
A good start at Starbucks with dear Nath...then some grocery shopping and quiet time at home with E.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
The first two chapters I felt like watching a documentary about marriage. Never had I read a book that is entirely dedicated to matrimonial history and cultural aspects and views about marriage in general.
I guess I had expected something similar to her previous book 'Eat,Pray,Love' which I had loved so much.
Then after Chapter Three I found that familiar taste again...although still focusing on marriage the funny, self-critical and interesting Liz was back.
It was both entertaining and informative. I learned quite a lot about the act of marriage. And I guess I liked the book because my views about this legal act are very very similar to hers. If we (Alper & I) didn't happen to be Turkish, living in Turkey, I'm not sure if we (that is, I..) would have considered to get married at all. It was only because we didn't want to dissapoint our families and things would be easier once we had a baby. I've never been a very romantic person who had always been dreaming about wearing a white gown and having a glamorous wedding. In fact, I always had the feeling marriage puts an unnecessary burden on relationships based on love. Somehow love and marriage didn't seem to get along very well.
I've been married for 4 years now, I still don't believe that marriage is a holy thing..but it's true that when you're married, it's much harder to slam the door and leave everything behind. You are more careful and try to keep the relationship healthy and stable. Especially after having a baby. And, of course, the legal aspect makes everything easier to handle when you're married. Especially after having a baby.
Liz is/was much much more skeptical about marriage, also very terrified and cautious (because of a very ugly divorce history). And if you're a big supporter of marriage the constant critical tone might disturb you, but I would still recommend the book without hesitation.
Here're some excerpts from the book;
"Freud defined infatuation pithily as "the overvaluation of the object," and Goethe even put it better: "When two people are really happy about one another, one can generally assume they are mistaken."
"In the end, it seems to me that forgiveness may be the only realistic antidote we are offered in love, to combat the inescapable disappointments of intimacy."
"For there is one thing I have learned over the years about men, it is that feelings of powerlessness do not usually bring forth their finest qualities."
"Ceremony and ritual march us carefully right through the center of our deepest fears about change, much the same way that a stable boy can lead a blindfold horse right through the center of a fire, whispering, "Don't overthink this, buddy, okay? Just put one hoof in front of the other and you'll come out on the other side just fine."
Fresh flowers from a friend...flowers make me feel good..
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
E. sharing her doll with a friend this afternoon :)
For the last few days I've been thinking about what is still left in my life from the past that I have to release and let go. All the spiritual articles say the same, if you want to enter the multi-dimensional new world you have to get rid of past issues NOW. I thought I had detached myself from all but then I looked at my Facebook Profile and saw the many people from my past (also family members I haven't seen in ages) who were so irrelevant and kind of unnecessary to be reminded of. I decided to open a new account on Ela's name because my parents like to be updated with photos of Ela every week and there're a few people I still want to have such a cyber-connection with. I already feel better...it felt so weird to see into somebody's life who I actually don't really know anymore...and vice versa.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
E.'s latest achievement; climbing up the higher couch...
Monday, August 16, 2010
Cesme was relatively "normal" temperature-wise...but Izmir and probably the rest of the whole country is literally burning. A friend said she was told that the reason for this enormous heat was the change of the element of fire (till 2012)..therefore, temperatures all over the world would be rising (even Germany experienced more than 40 degrees Celcius which is very very unusual...I remember that we had "Hitzefrei" at school as soon as the thermometer hit 28 degrees...and that certainly didn't happen too often!)
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Friday, August 13, 2010
Fun with Nihan :p
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
E.'s currently favorite toy (thx Isla ;)) ...not very good at it yet though ;)