Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Unfriended! And That's All Right By Me (Jennifer Hoffman)

"Facebook is the new way in which we relate to people and it has become the new measure of social popularity. If we have lots of friends (disregard the fact that we may not know most of them) we are considered popular. Fewer friends means we aren't 'with it'. But these anonymous friendships also offer the opportunity to end a friendship with the click of the 'unlike' button. Presto, we are no longer friends. No muss, no fuss, no drama or uncomfortable conversations.

If this is someone we like it can be upsetting. But we can offer our gratitude to those people who take the 'unfriend' step because they are letting us know that we no longer have to fulfill our role in their life. We are not socially undesirable to everyone, just to them. Is this an insult? I consider it a blessing. The people who decide they no longer want us in their life do so because (as was in my case), we are no longer useful to them. While that may sound harsh, it is true. When we do not fulfill specific roles for them, they can't get what they want from us on an energetic level. So we are free and they can find someone else who will meet those needs.
What if everyone you support, befriend, are an emotional or financial anchor for and rescuer of suddenly told you they no longer wanted you in their life? Would you be happy or sad?"

Interesting to hear, that is read, that quite a few people have 'Facebook issues'. Although this example is kind of the opposite of what I experienced (not being unfriended but having the desire to unfriend myself)  it still shows how these social networking websites can actually create unnecessary social connections.
On the other hand, I also believe they give us the opportunity to make choices. Choices about whom to be friends with, whom to 'unfriend' and to be or not to be part of this network at all.
Click here to read the whole article by Hoffman.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Last September Weekend 2010

 It's almost October and I still keep uttering the same phrase; "It's so hot!" I've said it so many times this summer that I'm actually bored with myself. And this allergy is also very stubborn this time. Arghhh.
I'm tired. Therefore only pictures today.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Health News & Book Review

Ela's almost back to her healthy days...only very mild rattly breathing's left and hopefully tomorrow she's normal again. I also hope that the teething period is over soon since her recent clinginess is (again) testing my patience and I have the feeling there's not much left of that! I had a difficult day myself today; I removed the dusty fly nets from the windows this morning since they were going to be cleaned and I guess that caused an allergic reaction which made me sneeze and gave me a runny nose  (and a headache of course) the whole day. I find it very hard to be a patient and attentive mother when I don't feel well.
Speaking of being a good mother, I just finished a book Isla lent me called Momma Zen.
I have to admit that at first I was a bit skeptical about the book, because of the title I suppose. Spirituality and spiritual terms in general are being over-used nowadays to attract more attention and, in this case, readers. Anything Zen has therefore a bad connotation for me, at first that is.
But I liked the book. I liked the style, the simplicity, the spiritual content and much more. And although I haven't necessarily learned anything new it was a very nice feeling to see my personal experiences of the last few months through somebody else's eyes. I felt like being approved, understood and not so alone anymore.
Here're my highlights from the book:

"I was humiliated to see that the maturity and serenity I had achieved was simply the result of having things my way all the time."

"When you go into labor, you see that you are not the captain of the ship. You are the ship. There is no captain. There are only the waves."

"It seems to me that a huge part of motherhood is spent looking for a parking space. Not a parking space for the car. For the kid."

"There's nothing wrong with a gift or a toy, but don't append any extra value to any of them as needed or educational. It is the things we don't have, after all, that are truly educational. They help us to see the chains of our dissatisfaction and, ultimately, encourages us to step free. What a priceless gift to the ones we love."

"I let Georgia lie in my arms and wet my shoulder with her sobs. Wherever the pain and sorrow take her, I will go too. That's what a momma's for. That's what it's all about."

"Words are magic. All words are, not just please and thank you. The words my daughter will use are the ones she hears; the words I want her to use she must hear from me."

"We hurry up our children only to try, in vain, to hold a part of them back. Everything happens in its own time soon enough. Soon enough is always too soon."

"You may suppose that time is only passing away and not understand that time never arrives. (-Dogen Zenji, 'The Time-Being')"

"Counting your breath is classic meditative practice. You can do it anywhere, while you're doing anything. Anything but thinking."

"Do not have any expectations about how things will go. Simply look, listen, wait, and trust. Then, just in time and right on schedule, you'll know for yourself."

"No effort is what powers the universe."

I had, simultaneously, started to read Elif Safak's Flea Palace but found it hard to continue. Safak is my most favorite Turkish writer. I started to read her books 4-5 years ago and the 1st novel I read was Med Cezir. I always wanted to read her earlier novels who brought her so many prizes and awards. But, to be honest, I'm a bit dissappointed. The book is very hard to read, the language is heavy, sentences very complex. It feels like she tried to sound as intellectual as possible. And I suppose in the course of time, when success came, she got rid of this burden and started to write more "easy". I will try to finish the "Flea Palace" now.

Monday, September 20, 2010

How's Ela?

Better, but still with a fluctuating fever between 37-38.6 degrees. I suspect it's the sixth disease which is also called Roseola because of the rosy/pinky rash following a fever that usually lasts for three days (still another 24 hours to go then!).
She's slept better tonight though without waking up between 8pm-5.30am,  I breastfed her and since her fever was 38.6 again gave her some Ibuprofen and she slept again till 9.30 (I guess a nice side effect of the medicine :o)
Actually, I believe that esp. with smaller children giving medicine right away isn't very good because there little body needs to learn to fight infections and thus strengthen their immune system and therefore I would probably prefer to give her Ibuprofen only before bedtime but Alper insists that I give it as soon as it gets higher than 38 degrees. Typical Turkish attitude I'm afraid; filling up the body with medicine without giving it a chance to heal itself and then wondering why getting sick all the time...I consider myself lucky though since at least he doesn't listen to his brother who told him to give the medicine every four-six hours no matter how high the temperature is. I'm sorry, I might not be an expert but I just don't agree with that...
Anyways, Ela's sleeping right now and she seems to be fine today, woke up without a fever and if it's really the sixth disease then we should welcome the rash tomorrow afternoon and then hopefully go back to normal. I will take her to the pediatrician tomorrow.
Yesterday morning E. only found comfort in her daddy's arms where she then fell asleep after a while...

Saturday, September 18, 2010

The First Fever

Our first Saturday at home after having closed the Cesme season started quite healthily and happily. Ela had her usual two naps, in between a  nice long walk, some shopping and coffee at Starbucks...but when we came home Alper said she felt very warm and he was sure she had fever. First I thought it's just because it was very hot today and in the pram it gets even hotter and I waited for a while till I actually checked her temperature. But after an hour or so it was very obvious; Ela was experiencing her first fever.
It was 38.3 degrees Celcius...I put her straight into the bath and bathed her with lukewarm water, then we gave her 5 ml of Pedifen syrup. After 45 min. her temperature had dropped to 37.9 and after dinner and a second bath before bedtime it was 37.4.
Fingers crossed for a good night sleep and no sudden wake-ups! So far she seems fine, just making a weird sound while breathing...not like she's in pain but a rather funny one - like a sigh.
Isn't it one of the most difficult things for parents to see their child(ren) suffer or feel unwell? They are so helpless and if like in our case they can't speak yet it's even harder.
I'd like to take this opportunity to wish all babies, kids and also adults healthy and illness-free days!

Here some shots taken in the morning when E. was still at normal temperature..

Monday, September 13, 2010

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Cesme Season Closing

Boutique Hotel Dolina in $ifne - our home during the Bayram holidays - a highly recommended brandnew Ce$me Hotel

Our room view

We were out of swimmer nappies :s

Splash Splash Splash!!!

Probably E.'s last swim in this mushroom ring
E. wearing Mommy's summer favorites 2010 ;)

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Temple Grandin: The world needs all kinds of minds

I came across Temple Grandin's name a few days ago when I read about the 2010 Emmy Award Winners. The semi-biographical TV movie "Temple Grandin" was nominated for seven awards and won five which everybody seems to agree was well deserved.
Grandin was diagnosed with autism when she was two (1949), at a time when not much was actually known about this 'disorder'. Today she is a recognized authority on animal science and she believes that being autistic helped her to understand animals better and thus enabled her to do things like building more efficient and humane slaughterhouses.
Reading a book about Asperger's Syndrome last week and now coming across this movie about autism made me think more deeply about these neurological "disorders." And I found it very interesting that although Grandin has done a lot to raise awareness about autism, "as proponent of neurodiversity, she would not support a cure of the entirety of the autistic spectrum."
In one of her statements she says, "If I could snap my fingers and become nonautistic I would not do so. Autism is part of who I am."
This statement actually supports the spiritual view that disorders like these are not really disorders but a sign that brains are in fact still evolving to help us think differently and see the world through different eyes. In one channeling I read that in a few years children will be born who are actually going to be able to use their "autistic powers" whenever they want to and then switch to a normal state when these powers are not needed.
Click here to read more about Grandin.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Welcome Fall!

As of September 1 the weather finally went back to bearable degrees...its' amazing how outside temperatures can affect the human body. I immediately felt lighter, happier and more joyful. A friend said this coolness is kind of liberating and I couldn't agree more...the enormous heat we experienced this summer made one feel like locked up in a cage..similar to the state of claustrophobia...almost impossible to breathe, move and basically live normally.
Temperatures are said to go up and down between 25-30 degrees Celcius till end-November which I think is perfect.

I should go and check on Ela now...she's sleeping but I hope she wakes up soon (isn't it funny, when they sleep we want them to wake up and when they don't we go crazy :s) because I'd like her to take a second nap around 3pm when I have an appointment at the beauty parlor :)