Ela's almost back to her healthy days...only very mild rattly breathing's left and hopefully tomorrow she's normal again. I also hope that the teething period is over soon since her recent clinginess is (again) testing my patience and I have the feeling there's not much left of that! I had a difficult day myself today; I removed the dusty fly nets from the windows this morning since they were going to be cleaned and I guess that caused an allergic reaction which made me sneeze and gave me a runny nose (and a headache of course) the whole day. I find it very hard to be a patient and attentive mother when I don't feel well.
Speaking of being a good mother, I just finished a book Isla lent me called Momma Zen.
I have to admit that at first I was a bit skeptical about the book, because of the title I suppose. Spirituality and spiritual terms in general are being over-used nowadays to attract more attention and, in this case, readers. Anything Zen has therefore a bad connotation for me, at first that is.
But I liked the book. I liked the style, the simplicity, the spiritual content and much more. And although I haven't necessarily learned anything new it was a very nice feeling to see my personal experiences of the last few months through somebody else's eyes. I felt like being approved, understood and not so alone anymore.
Here're my highlights from the book:
"I was humiliated to see that the maturity and serenity I had achieved was simply the result of having things my way all the time."
"When you go into labor, you see that you are not the captain of the ship. You are the ship. There is no captain. There are only the waves."
"It seems to me that a huge part of motherhood is spent looking for a parking space. Not a parking space for the car. For the kid."
"There's nothing wrong with a gift or a toy, but don't append any extra value to any of them as needed or educational. It is the things we don't have, after all, that are truly educational. They help us to see the chains of our dissatisfaction and, ultimately, encourages us to step free. What a priceless gift to the ones we love."
"I let Georgia lie in my arms and wet my shoulder with her sobs. Wherever the pain and sorrow take her, I will go too. That's what a momma's for. That's what it's all about."
"Words are magic. All words are, not just please and thank you. The words my daughter will use are the ones she hears; the words I want her to use she must hear from me."
"We hurry up our children only to try, in vain, to hold a part of them back. Everything happens in its own time soon enough. Soon enough is always too soon."
"You may suppose that time is only passing away and not understand that time never arrives. (-Dogen Zenji, 'The Time-Being')"
"Counting your breath is classic meditative practice. You can do it anywhere, while you're doing anything. Anything but thinking."
"Do not have any expectations about how things will go. Simply look, listen, wait, and trust. Then, just in time and right on schedule, you'll know for yourself."
"No effort is what powers the universe."
I had, simultaneously, started to read Elif Safak's Flea Palace but found it hard to continue. Safak is my most favorite Turkish writer. I started to read her books 4-5 years ago and the 1st novel I read was Med Cezir. I always wanted to read her earlier novels who brought her so many prizes and awards. But, to be honest, I'm a bit dissappointed. The book is very hard to read, the language is heavy, sentences very complex. It feels like she tried to sound as intellectual as possible. And I suppose in the course of time, when success came, she got rid of this burden and started to write more "easy". I will try to finish the "Flea Palace" now.
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