Things that bother you about other people, or annoy you, make you angry, or cause you to judge them are said to be reflections of your "darker" side.
Question: Why am I so disturbed by the way my brother-in-law raises his two kids. Giving them whatever they want without any boundaries and almost no discipline? It's none of my business. Why do I keep giving them as "bad" examples.
Answer: Because I'm jealous. Because I didn't get everything I wanted when I was a child. Because discipline was always part of my life. Because there were always boundaries. Because the little girl in me is still longing for such a spoiled childhood. Especially after my brother was born. Because till then I did get everything I wanted. And suddenly the little princess was neglected. I'm jealous of these two kids. I'm jealous.
Question: Why am I so disturbed by the extremely close relationship of Alper and his mother? Why do I find it ridiculous that an almost 40-year-old man is talking to his mom 10 times a day? Why do I think that's not normal?
Answer: Because there's a part in me who would like to have the same relationship with Ela. As much as I want Ela to be independent, free and self-sufficient, there's a hidden desire to keep her by my side all the time. And that's probably the reason for her clinginess. I need to embrace this hidden part in me, accept it and, of course, let it go since this is not what I really want.
I'm quite amazed and surprised by how effective these practices are and how fast I can make such discoveries about myself. Even while writing this post, I'm continuing to discover. I just realized that I need to work on my relationship with my brother. I can feel that there's a lot of jealousy hidden there, too. Jealousy is a very strong feeling. It's also one of the hardest feelings to admit.
I can easily say it now. I'm jealous. I'm jealous. I'm jealous.
The more I say it, the better I feel.
1 week ago