One of the hottest topics lately on Nurturia is about moms discussing differences between Turkish and foreign moms/parents. Whether there're cultural advantages/disadvantages, countries/people that have just found the right approach and raise perfectly disciplined kids, or if we just tend to see the good examples in others and that there are undisciplined, spoiled, naughty kids basically everywhere.
There were comments I found quite judgmental and opinionated, and others which couldn't describe better what I felt and thought. I'd have loved to translate and share them here but my laziness hasn't gotten any better ;)
Instead, I want to direct you to a link which was shared there by one of the moms. It's and article called "Who's in Control" by Jean Liedloff, famous author of The Continuum Concept.
Here's my favorite part;
Put simply, when a child is impelled to try to control the behavior of an adult, it is not because the child wants to succeed, but because the child needs to be certain that the adult knows what he or she is doing. Furthermore, the child cannot resist such testing until the adult stands firm and the child can have that certainty. No child would dream of trying to take over the initiative from an adult unless that child receives a clear message that such action is expected — not wanted, but expected! Moreover, once the child feels he has attained control, he becomes confused and frightened and must go to any extreme to compel the adult to take the leadership back where it belongs.
When this is understood, the parents' fear of imposing upon their child is allayed, and they see that there is no call for adversariality. By maintaining control, they are fulfilling their beloved child's needs, rather than acting in opposition to them.
Click here to read the whole article.
And here're some quick shots from our first Christmas celebration with Ela this year:
Ben böyle miydim, böyle mi doğdum?
6 days ago