Sunday, January 31, 2010
Saturday, January 23, 2010
as of today we have spent 38 weeks in one body and 7 full months as mother & child together...it's been an amazing experience so far and I can't even imagine how much better it's actually going to get.
I can't help but wondering why you chose me as your mom...I hope you can tell me one day.
I started to love you the day I found out about you and my love has been growing ever since...every time I look at you I'm fascinated...still finding it hard to believe sometimes that you're actually "mine."
Mein Engelchen, you've already taught me so much...about patience, respect, compassion, sensitivity, sharing, living the present moment, etc...and my aim is to teach you to be good, kind, thoughtful, honest, loving, understanding, respectful, confident and so much more...
When you're old enough to read and understand this, I hope you will look back and say; "I'm glad I chose you."
And please forgive me, in advance, for my mistakes, wrong decisions and unneccesary comments...keep in mind that I tried to do my best and if that wasn't enough you probably have to lower your expectations =)
I promise to protect you, to love you, to feed you, to guide you, to support you, to help you no matter where or when...
I wish you a beautiful life full with happiness, light, love, spirit, laughter, joy, health and miracles.
I love you.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
1- Don't seek happiness. If you seek it, you won't find it, because seeking is the antithesis of happiness. Happiness is ever elusive, but freedom from unhappiness is attainable now, by facing what is rather than making up stories about it.
2- The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the situation, which is always neutral, which always is as it is. There is the situation or the fact, and here are my thoughts about it. Instead of making up stories, stay with the facts. For example, "I am ruined" is a story. It limits you and prevents you from taking effective action. "I have 50 cents left in my bank account" is a fact. Facing facts is always empowering.
3- See if you can catch the voice in your head, perhaps in the very moment it complains about something, and recognize it for what it is: the voice of the ego, no more than a thought. Whenever you notice that voice, you will also realize that you are not the voice, but the one who is aware of it. In fact, you are the awareness that is aware of the voice. In the background, there is the awareness. In the foreground, there is the voice, the thinker. In this way you are becoming free of the ego, free of the unobserved mind.
4- Wherever you look, there is plenty of circumstantial evidence for the reality of time—a rotting apple, your face in the bathroom mirror compared with your face in a photo taken 30 years ago—yet you never find any direct evidence, you never experience time itself. You only ever experience the present moment.
5- Why do anxiety, stress, or negativity arise? Because you turned away from the present moment. And why did you do that? You thought something else was more important. One small error, one misperception, creates a world of suffering.
6- People believe themselves to be dependent on what happens for their happiness. They don't realize that what happens is the most unstable thing in the universe. It changes constantly. They look upon the present moment as either marred by something that has happened and shouldn't have or as deficient because of something that has not happened but should have. And so they miss the deeper perfection that is inherent in life itself, a perfection that lies beyond what is happening or not happening. Accept the present moment and find the perfection that is untouched by time.
7- The more shared past there is in a relationship, the more present you need to be; otherwise, you will be forced to relive the past again and again.
8- Equating the physical body with "I," the body that is destined to grow old, wither, and die, always leads to suffering. To refrain from identifying with the body doesn't mean that you no longer care for it. If it is strong, beautiful, or vigorous, you can appreciate those attributes—while they last. You can also improve the body's condition through nutrition and exercise. If you don't equate the body with who you are, when beauty fades, vigor diminishes, or the body becomes incapacitated, this will not affect your sense of worth or identity in any way. In fact, as the body begins to weaken, the light of consciousness can shine more easily.
9- You do not become good by trying to be good, but by finding the goodness that is already within you and allowing that goodness to emerge.
10- If peace is really what you want, then you will choose peace .
Exerpted from Oneness with All Life by Eckhart Tolle . Published by arrangement with Dutton, a member of Penguin Group (USA), Inc. Copywright © 2008 by Eckhart Tolle
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Today I'm not so sure anymore...
Do I really want another baby? Right when Ela is going to be more independent and I could finally focus on myself again...do I actually want to start over? Going back to sleeping rituals, feeding issues, changing nappies...???
It sounds quite selfish when I read this...but being selfish isn't actually the worst thing in the world...in fact, I think that being selfish is essential if you want to be happy. And, of course, make others happy.
Was I subconsciously affected by all these myths about single children? Actually, I don't think so...I don't believe that one has to have siblings in order to become a healthy, social, loving, sensitive and respectful person. In fact, many of my friends were single children and all of them are very nice people =)
Ironically, Alper started to bring this topic up lately...
So..if I had to decide today I probably would say No....but who knows how I will feel tomorrow...