Monday, March 7, 2011

The last few days...

...have been busy, cold, fun, sweet, lovely, surprising, tense, sparkling and full with firsts.

Where to start? Well, blogger is obviously still working, I was just cut out once or twice and I'm glad I didn't have to move to Wordpress. Work is busy but still entertaining and energising. I guess I've passed the test, having surrendered to somebody else for the last few years in terms of financial status and thus having found the feminine elements in my being by releasing the thought that I, myself, and nobody else, can or should take care of me and also my family. Thank you Alper, for teaching me that.
Ela is growing, not only in size, but the last few days were like a shift. She suddenly started to call me Mama/Mami (instead of the Turkish 'anne') and funnily started to call her Baba, Babi, to make it rhyme to Mami I guess ;)) She suddenly wants to do everything on her own, putting on her socks, her boots, her pants, her nappies(see pic below), etc..she simply says "Ela" and wants me to step back. Sometimes she decides on her outfit, her meal, her activities,...
It's not easy sometimes but I like her new desire for independence.
She also developed a tantrum-like nervous-breakdown kind of thing, when she wants and I don't get it or can't do what she wants, she starts to scream as loud as she can and gets so upset that she either bites her toy, her clothes, or, of course, me. She bit me in the shoulder a few days ago and it still hurts!
For now I'm just watching her, w/o reacting, I actually don't know what I could do at such moments to calm her, so I just let her scream it out and if there's I can do I try to at least change the position or

And me, I spent the last ten days watching the first three movies of the Twilight Saga and then reading the last book Breaking Dawn. The whole fuss about this series caused me to be reluctant to read or watch any of the books/movies. But now that everything has cooled down I just had to get to know these New Age Vampires, as a huge vampire lover, that is. I think I was 9 or 10 when I first watched a vampire movie. Black & white, with Klaus Kinski as Dracula. I always loved or almost adored these dark, cool, sexy and powerful creatures. But Twilight gave me much more...Vampires that weren't scary but more romantic, more loving and more beautiful than any human could be. I loved it. This I guess is the part of me that decided to stay in her teenage years.
And then there's another movie I watched. The Black Swan. I can't find  the right words to describe this movie. I'm still thinking of it sometimes. Deeply affected.

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