Sunday, May 8, 2011

Where am I on Mother's Day?

I started 'my' day with a run and James Blunt asking me to "ask myself the question, Where Am I Now??"
Good question. Where am I now? Compared to last year? Three years ago? Or yesterday?
Now, I'm right here, being a mom, also a daughter, a sister, a wife, a woman, sometimes a child, a teenager, a lover, a worker,  a healer, a traveler, a friend, a student, a spiritual soul, a curious person eager to learn and explore life as it is.
Looking for balance, peace, divinity, pleasure, wholeness, love, joy, laughter and fun.

Mother's Day is nothing special in my eyes, just like all other "special" days. It's a day on which I struggle to decide whether I have to call mother-in-law just because she would be offended if I didn't or if I should just do what I really want and not call since she is just not a relevant person, I don't see her as a mother figure (in Turkey you're supposed to call your mother-in-law "Anne" that is mom and I have a prob with that, I think it's an unnecessary act of fake behavior). In the end, I still called her since I just didn't want to deal with her offended attitude for the next few weeks (not that I see her very often, but still).
My husband didn't call my mom, on the other hand, and neither I nor my mom would ever show any kind of reaction to that.
I have a problem with things you are "supposed to do."

I want to close this post with some calm & peaceful piece of music. The song is called resistance and I would like to stop resisting to all sorts of things. Resistance causes trouble, you can't achieve what you want, you can't attract what you want, by resisting you block the energy and feel bad. I let go resistance.


  1. I anyhow say: Happy Mother's Day. I appreciate that you have such an insightful soul and your willingness to reflect and learn. This is what I believe is of high value in being a mother. So thanks for contributing to our world by giving your wisdom to Ela.
    I know what you mean when you say that all these "special" days are not special to you. Rick is gone right now and i am alone on Mother's Day. Well, I actually hoped for something else :).
    Oh and I love what you wrote about resistance. So true.
    Tomorrow I will fly to St. Louis to spend 10 days with my in-laws and all other extended family. I have so much resistance in me and would actually love to stay at home. I guess this will truly only cause tousle.
    Love from Eva

  2. A belated Happy Mother's Day to you, too, meine Liebe. It's actually a weird feeling I have to admit, not caring for special days but at the same time expecting at least some nice words or something...not making sense, I know, but I guess that's what makes us human, this contradictory state and hidden expectation. I wish you patience, balance and lots of love in St. Louis.
    Love and hugs..